I like guys. And when I come out, I usually tell people some variation of the following phrase.
“You don’t have to be a woman to love a man.”
As you breakdown this statement, the theme is clear: I’m a masculine gay man. Although my attraction is toward my fellow guys, my gender is male.
I have friends who share this sentiment.
But looking deeper at this statement shows a darker pretense: misogyny. Especially towards the effeminate sub-species of the gay.
What lies in the back of the mind is that a woman is weak and inferior to a man. And any gay man who bears effeminate qualities are intolerable and often times repulsive.
I often excuse my negative behavior to effeminate guys as part of my personal preference. What I have not considered were the factors that affects my preferences.
I have had bad experiences with some effeminate gays, but I guess I should differentiate their repulsive and mean behavior distinct from their gender identity. Just because effems don’t act very manly, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the love and respect that every human being deserves.
If we were trying to achieve for equality in all SOGIEs, we must look also at the internalized misogyny within our very own selves.
Kudos Team Magazine for making me realize this. You guys and gals inspire me a lot!